About this time of year, I start to feel like a coin in one of those fundraising games – circling ever faster before plunging down some black hole. Are you feeling the gravitational pull too? Challenging children everywhere are surely sensing the heightened anxiety too, and are working harder to keep it together.
Holidays require that we get more done with the same amount of time and for many of us, with a lot less money this year – a great recipe for patience waning and tempers flaring. Opportunities to lose it and have a big blowout are bouncing around like cell phone signals. Negativity is emanating its pull, and even with the best of intentions, we can be drawn in.
After all, look what we’re about, those of us raising, educating, counseling challenging children:
- We are on duty 24/7 noticing what’s going right, appreciating what’s not going wrong and waxing eloquent about it for our intense kids.
- We’re on benevolent police patrol 24/7 – proactively setting clear limits and enforcing every infraction with “eyes in the back of our head” know-it-all-ness.
- We are the gracious issuers of “resets to greatness” – sometimes hundreds in a day; and we extract no pounds of flesh for misdeeds, not even ounces or grams.
- We’re drawing deeply and regularly from our well of self mastery so as not to engage negativity – from ourselves, our challenging children, coworkers, family and friends.
- We disengage from the argument, the blame game, the pursuit of why and the rehearsing of past wrongs.
- We face conflict with the confidence of the approach, knowing how to use it to strengthen relationships.
Holy Wow, Howard! That is ONE TALL ORDER. I know, I know, there’s no other way we want to be in the world…
But I must ask you, then, who’s energizing YOUR success? Who’s de-energizing YOUR negativity? Who’s setting clear limits for YOU and strictly enforcing them?
Ah, yes, it is a do-it-yourself world to the nth degree: We get to energize ourselves. This is soul preservation along the lines of the physical preservation of “put your own oxygen mask on first before you assist your child.”
Listen, friend, if you are doing ANY of those bullet points to ANY degree, you deserve a long, loud standing ovation. You’re being the change, seeing the change, speaking the change. It matters. You matter.
If, as I suspect, that no matter how much you are doing and being you want to do and be more, I have a suggestion for you: Super Energize Yourself right now for exactly where you are at. Do all the above steps for yourself. Regularly.
Here’s one idea to make it so:
Put on another piece of jewelry and always wear it; or put a special coin or trinket in your pocket or purse.
Every time you see it, take a moment to recognize something that you’re doing right, not doing wrong, and consider what that says about you as a person.
Then let the waves of appreciation for who you are wash over you, cleaning off any dust of the day. If you can’t think of something new each time, simply repeat the thing you do notice, and appreciate it more.
If you’re coming off a reset, energize yourself for resetting. I don’t care how long it took! You did it. You’re back on track. You’re moving forward.
When we’re energized ourselves, when we’re standing in our own greatness, it’s a whole lot easier to see the greatness of others and to disengage negativity. Hey, maybe that’s not a black hole up ahead! Maybe it’s a magical vortex that will transport me to a brand new year and new levels of greatness and gratitude.
To YOUR Incredible, Amazing, Uniquely YOU Greatness!