Are you bullish or bearish on yourself? Is it a simple question that you can answer across the board, or does it require qualification, depending upon who you’re with?
Maybe you’re bullishly confident in relationship with your partner, but bearishly insecure when it comes to your boss. For others, the opposite dynamic plays out.
What’s evident is that what we believe others believe about us affects us in significant ways – our thoughts, feelings, attitudes – and it shows up big time in our behavior. It’s tough to stand in one’s greatness when we’re thinking they hate our guts and shoes.
Perhaps that’s why adults and children alike can behave like a completely different person from one setting to another. Perhaps children’s behaviors show us what they believe we believe about them in any given situation – say the classroom vs. the playground vs. home vs. sports.
Quick example: Standing behind a couple whom I had invited to rejoin a group after a long absence, the man picked up his nametag and was irritated that his name was spelled incorrectly. It made him decide to leave, saying something along the lines of, “They still don’t even know my name.” Catching his arm, I said, “I gave them the spelling of your last name. I’m so sorry – I guessed at it instead of checking with you.” Immediately his anger dissipated, he found humor instead of pain in the honest mistake, and he showed me a trick to remember the correct spelling. What a great reset!
But why such a different reaction to the same incident, depending on the culprit? It seems as simple as what he believed “they” believed about him; what he judged about their intentions toward him. Unless you’re psychic, we’re almost always wrong in these kinds of judgments.
What’s cool about being an ENERGYPARENT is that we, as Howie would say, get to be the “director and producer” of every moment in our lives and the lives of our children around us. We choose the camera angle, and we don’t depend on external confirmation. We call the shots, and they’re all in the now.
When we decide to focus our life lense to the nth degree of positivity, we can freeze-frame, reframe and rename every moment to build one synthesized personal portfolio that supports what we choose as true about ourselves and others. We can even extend this best version of ourselves to others – choosing to believe that what they believe about us is us at our best.
Who are you with your No. 1 fan – maybe it’s your mom or dad or grandma, your spouse, your best friend? Wouldn’t it be awesome to be that person with everyone?
We call it building inner wealth when we use ENERGYPARENTING techniques to reflect a child’s in-the-moment greatness back to them and help them write their personal portfolios in positivity. We call it standing in our greatness when we do it for ourselves. It’s all about owning our power. The truth is, we have far more power than we admit to ourselves and others over what our life is all about, what goes on in our heads, and how all of that influences others, especially children.
If your behavior or inner dialog tips you off that you’re not in your greatness in a particular relationship, choose to feel your feelings, review that personal portfolio and then just overwrite it with the updated version of you. No need to rehash; just point, click delete and be sure to empty the trash.
What if you were to believe that your partner, your children, your coworkers, your boss, your customers, all believe the best about you? What if you were to stand secure today in the knowledge that you belong here, that you are on the right path, that who you are being and what you are doing is in perfect harmony with your life plan?
Here’s what would happen: You’ll be feeling, following and flowing in the cocreative energy of life that’s irresitibly healing, uplifting and totally energizing to anyone within a mile radius. That’s an investment that’ll pay immediate dividends to you, your family and the world.
To Building Your Portfolio of Positivity!