It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. What better stage for a Dickens of a drama to unfold than the holidays?
We look forward to connecting with the people we love; we often dread it too. Usually they’re the people with whom we’ve experienced the best and worst times of our lives!
Some of us, coming to enjoy a measure of success in parenting, gather our families for the over-the-river-and-through-the-woods rendezvous, only to revert to adolescence as we pass the threshold to the family gathering. In seconds, it seems, that old way of being, thinking and relating darts for the goat pen.
There are the extra-long to-do lists, the extra extra-curricular activities, the mile-high expectations for food, fun and fab presents. A wake-me-when-it’s-over strategy takes on an alluring seasonal glow. And that’s just Mom and Dad!
Toss in waiting for Santa and fretting about which list you’re on, and a challenging child can be on constant overload as of Dec. 1.
Before you opt for auto-pilot or settle for a holiday horror replay, let’s review the new you: the strong, confident ENERGYPARENT. You have an approach that makes parenting easy, fun and effective. You’re able to enjoy your challenging child in every situation, especially the holidays.
So use this holiday season to hone your newfound skills – with your child, yourself and other family members. A no-fail “Ain’t Gonna Get my Goat” holiday plan is to plant yourself firmly in the 3 Stands of the Approach:
Stand No. 1: “I REFUSE to energize ANYBODY’s negativity, including my own.” That means that when your cousin begins retelling for the 14th year in a row your most embarrassing preteen moment, you simply say, “Reset, cuz,” and walk away or change the topic. It means when holidays past come to haunt, you choose to pull yourself back into this present moment and create a new happy holiday recording.
Stand No. 2: “I WILL RELENTLESSLY pursue EVERYBODY’s positivity.” That means when your cousin stutters mid-sentence from you saying ‘reset,’ you jump on that split second and excitedly say, “Thank you so much! I respect you for giving me space to be a grown up. It shows how far you’ve come, too, and I appreciate your effort!” A sly smile kisses your lips as you silently relish your energizing marksmanship.
Stand No. 3: “I REFUSE to NOT give a consequence whenever ANYBODY breaks a rule to any degree.” That means that throughout the glorious chaos of holiday shopping, hopping and dropping, you will be vigilant to NOT ignore any rules your child or anybody else breaks. An unceremonious ‘reset’ is all you utter as you turn away to let the negativity fade into the past and quickly return to create the next moment of positivity and success. You laugh, “No goats gettin’ got today!”
Don’t let the hustle and bustle of the season throw you off the approach. Super-energizing is your secret weapon. Energize your child at least five minutes a day; and thoroughly before any event; it eliminates the need to act out to get your energy. Watch the clock and every X minutes, where X is your child’s age, excuse yourself to go and find your child and lay on the recognitions. Wield your super-energizer sword like your life depends on it and you’ll have the happiest holiday season ever.
In Joy over You Enjoying Your Holidays!