Giving thanks for what’s right AND for what’s not going wrong is key to transforming a challenging child. As ENERGYPARENTS soon find out, it’s transformational for us, too.
Thanks to gratefulness researchers Drs. Emmons and McCollough, we have a list of just how good giving thanks is for us. Check it out! After 30 Days of Thanks, you would be:
1. SMARTER: Giving thanks boosts your brain power; it raises serotonin levels and improves your thought processes.
2. CALMER: Being grateful reduces stress, promotes a feeling of calmness and even wards of depression.
3. HAPPIER: Practicing daily gratitude is the single most effective exercise in positive psychology for creating feelings of happiness and feeling that you are loved.
4. POSITIVITY EMBODIED: Levels of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, optimism and energy increase after a month; and boredom and negativity levels dropped.
5. HEALTHIER: Feeling thankful leads to improved physical health too, because grateful people sleep better and exercise more. They even accomplish more toward their goals.
6. FREE of the PAINFUL PAST: Thankful people’s brains mesh negative events into a generally positive outlook that fades bad memories and gives closure.
7. ENERGIZING FRIENDS: Thankfulness launches a happy cycle of joy in friendships, which gives you more to be grateful for, which energizes your friendships again.
8. HELPING HEAL THE WORLD: Being thankful is contagious. Others catch it, pass it on, generating a giant viral strain of gratitude that helps us feel a greater connection to the entire human race.
Not bad! But get this, the researchers discovered that to get the biggest boost from blessings, gratitude has to be “spoken from the heart and felt.” It’s not enough to just rattle off a list, “I’m thankful for my kid, my dog, my food and my house.”
Now we’re getting somewhere! If you’ve been reading our newsletter for long, you know we’re not fans of a stand-alone thank-you. They can be spouted all day and never sprout greatness. But it’s a fine starting place. See if you can feel the difference in your energy response to these two statements.
Say this out loud: “I’m thankful for my daughter.” Energy check.
Now say this version out loud: “I’m thankful for my daughter. Sarah has a heart that’s sensitive to others. She’s always finding ways to help family and friends and thinks of things to do for others just to make them smile and have a better day. Kind words come easily to her. When sad, bad or disappointing things happen, she feels her emotions deep and strong! Then she finds something positive about it. She even helps me put a positive spin on my day! She’s amazingly responsible. Since she could walk she’s been by my side helping me. I know I can depend on her. I’m thankful for her laugh too. It’s like a bubbly fountain so pure and refreshing to me. When I see her from a distance, confident, strong, flashing her sweet smile, eyes shining and that letting go with that laugh, I feel overwhelmingly blessed that I get to raise her. I’M SO THANKFUL FOR SARAH.” Energy check.
It’s like prepackaged bird versus a roast turkey dinner with all the trimmings and dessert too, right? One is blah; the other one moves you to “Ahhhh!”
If you were to choose just one thing a day that you were thankful for and describe it and your feelings about it frame by frame, by the end of the month you’d have a Ph.D. in gratitude vocabulary. That’s one of the 180-degree differences in ENERGYPARENTING vs. conventional parenting. We let go of the culturally-built in 50,000-word dictionary to describe negativity and replace it with our own thesaurus of how to describe positivity in heartfelt living color.
Thirty Days of Thanks ENERGYPARENTING style would completely rewire our world view from “What’s wrong with this picture” to “What’s right with this picture,” an exquisite and expansive vista that could never be saved for just once a year.
To Your Thanks-Giving Greatness!